Me too!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
