you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm just crazy horny about you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
