He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize