You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
