week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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