so explain again why im purple
no
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
