he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
