I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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