Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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