Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
