Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
