but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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