I heard we made out
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
