similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
