a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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