We're facebook friends in real life
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
