What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So many bounce houses so little time
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
