That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
