the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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