You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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