The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
