i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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