And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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