just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
