I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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