if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
