worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
