What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
