Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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