Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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