real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
