lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
