help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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