You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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