he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
