Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
