You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
