i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
