i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
