i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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