It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
