Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
