I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
