We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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