I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish I only lived at night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
