pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
