Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
