So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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