Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
