i barfeds in our rink
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
