The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
