so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
