ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
