I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
