I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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