First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
