Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize