Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
