No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
