Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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