im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We had sex on a dog bed..
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
