capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
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My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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