laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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