How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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