Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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